The only thing that I am really struggling with is the idea that someone is going to be looking up to me. I mean, me, the girl that grew up with fucked up parents, a fucked up situation,and entirely way too many issues. I am so scared, I don't want to fuck up his life. I don't want him to find out about all the bad things that happened to me in my life. I don't want him to be ashamed of me, and think that I am a freak. There's so many things that I don't want him to have to go through. So much pain in life that I don't want him to feel. I am scared that him just even knowing his mother will make him ashamed of me. I don't know. I am just scared of a lot of things when it comes to him. I guess it's normal. I just hope that he never finds out all the bad shit from my past...
"I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me"